So in this video I would like to share with you a very very simple idea and it's an idea that will really
help you to better appreciate those who are living life in a responsible and empowered away from those
people who are living life in an irresponsible and disempowered way locus of control.
All right it's all about our attitude and I look on life we are either going to have an external locus
of control or we're going to be operating from an internal locus of control.
All right.
So just to remind you of some of the core ideas that we've looked at so far.
One of them being that responsibility breeds empowerment.
When we start operating on a police level kind of like what we're looking at.
No we've already acknowledged Albert Ellis's 13 ridiculous beliefs and they're not so ridiculous because
all of us subscribe to at least one or more of them in some way and they all hold us back in life.
All right.
Just picture this guy over here.
No this is kind of like the worst case scenario a young person or a old person or a middle age person
you know down looking at the ground doom and gloom and why is it that people feel old down about themselves
and doom and gloom because of the circumstances and the situation that they're facing or that they're
in right now perhaps some stuff has happened to them that they didn't want to happen and not feeling
particularly happy about their circumstances or themselves things happened to me that I am unable to
control.
I of victim or war is me.
And as you are most likely observing this isn't a particularly empowered way of living life.
And this is what we're talking about when we're referring to an external locus of control.
All right people who operate from this mindset are generally buying into ideas such as you know I need
to be kept safe.
The world's a dangerous place.
Stuff's coming against me that I have absolutely no control of.
I am a victim I'm the hard done by one.
I need people to keep me happy.
People must keep me happy or things are bad.
I genuinely arm a victim all of these bad things are happening to me.
People aren't treating me the way that I want to be trapped.
All of this stuff this happened in my past is pretty much reflective of what I can expect more of in
my future.
I am entitled to stuff that I am not getting right now I'm entitled to stuff that I don't know how to
get.
No one's giving me what I'm entitled to.
And I just simply want to feel better about myself as I plod on through this existence of life that
I can do nothing about.
All right external Lucas is this mindset.
There's absolutely nothing that we can do about the things that happened to us where we allow ourselves
to be impacted by our every event every circumstance every rejection every time someone says no to us.
Every time someone asks or demand or expect something office we are to conform.
What I would suggest is that this external locus of control generally leads people into this place where
they are controlled more by their external worlds and what they are by their internal worlds.
No it's important we acknowledge you understand this.
This phase of the course because we've looked to how it is that thoughts influence feelings hopefully
feelings influence the actions or the inaction that we take our action or inaction and determines the
outcomes that we would get in life.
No when we haven't taken responsibility for the part that we're playing and getting the outcomes that
we're getting we're pretty much forever remain us as victims.
All right quite a disempowered place to live life.
No this is many people's default mode but we've gotta understand those life coaches our role is to coach
people out of this and to greater degrees of realization about themselves who they are what they are
capable of and the extent of the options that they actually have available to them.
So what we want to be doing is we want to be leading people out of an external locus of control into
an internal locus of control because whilst there is nothing that we can do about the things that happen
to us in life there is everything that we can do in terms of our ability to respond to react.
So whilst we can't control things that happen to us we can always control how we respond to our external
worlds.
All right.
So here we're looking at a young man being completely impacted by his outside world.
And here we can see a picture of a young person taking full responsibility for their inside world.
All right.
No the internal looks of control breeds are very very different attitude in people and we will be able
to identify this in them.
I make things happen and I choose how we respond to things so granted.
You know it could be raining down hellfire and brimstone but you know what I do and have to be miserable
by that because how I feel and how I show up in life is my choice.
I can choose whether or not I'm impacted by life.
This person over here is judged me.
This port the person over here has rejected me.
None of these people like me.
Well I can be depressed by that or I can just carry on with life.
These guys just don't know how hard fought their mission I would say on the right.
It's all about Arthur shoot isn't it.
All right our whether we are internally locusts or whether we are externally locust is going to determine
our outlook on life and how we respond to stuff our day to day events.
So when we are internally locusts All right we've already taken responsibility for the part that we
play in determining our own outcomes which is slightly different from Karen in that last conversation
who had been sitting back for a couple of years waiting for God or the universe to make her life just
work out well for her because in the past her mom had always taken responsibility for her and because
someone had already taken responsibility for her in the past the past equals her future.
All right.
No we're not talking about people purposefully being irresponsible here.
We're just saying that people learn life lessons in different ways whether these life lessons are helpful
or unhelpful how it does to unfold this is why competent life coaches like us are required to help people
look at life from alternative perspectives.
No there's two ways we can look at this in terms of the X Daryl Lucas.
Some people have all sorts of failure and loss and rejection in the past and then they expect all of
these negative things to happen to them again in the future.
But in Karen's case this was actually quite different wasn't it.
Because in current case all that had happened in the past was mom had always taken responsibility for
her mom always came through.
And Karen's eyes this was most likely quite a good thing in the past.
And therefore in the future she can expect someone to come into her life and take responsibility for
the future as well.
But this doesn't bring about empowerment.
What does bring about empowerment is when we arrive at this place of being internally locust.
It's me that makes things happen.
There is no universe over there is going to do things for me.
I am a victor.
I get to choose how I respond to things how I respond to circumstances situations people on life.
Sometimes I might think things aren't accurate.
I need to take risks I am and overcome are granted some things may have happened to me.
And while some people might take the hurdles and the challenges and the rejections of life and kind
of take this on their shoulders and allow this weight to crush them I do and after I can just take the
stuff put it on the floor and use it upon a phone use it as a foundation upon which I build the rest
of my life on this stuff hasn't killed me therefore it makes me stronger and I am all better for the
process.
The future is 14 make it.
I am in control of how I choose to respond and react to the circumstances and the situations that I
find myself in.
I will halve what I work for if I don't work for anything that I stand at risk of not getting anything
if I work for something.
Then there's a chance that I get this something that I'm working for.
I want to be a better me in comparison to I want to feel better.
Now we can link all of this in with the standard from back in Section 1.
Remember people who are open to change they're open to grow.
They're open to challenge.
They're receptive of the new ideas that we will throw their way.
And obviously they are going to try them on for size as well see how they fit unless a person is actively
putting into action that which were shared with them then we're realistically not going to be able to
expect them to see any changes in their life.
When people are motivated more by personal growth and simply feeling better then overcoming life's challenges
and hurdles and obstacles just becomes part of the day to day process for them.
All right.
So this is external and internal locus of control.
It's just an outlook on life.
It's just an attitude that people take all people all of the time will either be externally locust or
internally August.
Don't get me wrong we could be really positive people.
You know with a good outlook on life.
But sometimes if we get a little bit tired we've gone through a rough season or something like this
in our our attitudes and our attention can can shift.
So it's not like we're always going to be perfectly internally locust all the time or perfectly externally
locust.
It's just sometimes we can kind of hop off to soar and the additional materials section there's a little
quiz like a resource that we've included for you.
And this isn't one that we've created as one is called rorters locus of control scale worksheet.
And this contains I think it's around about 25 different questions that you can ask yourself and if
you answer them honestly you'll be able to see how it is that you generally tend to look at life a bit
will identify whether you are and whether you tend to be more externally locust or internally locust.
So it doesn't really matter on what side of the fence you stand.
What is important is you are aware of which side of the fence you are standing on because when you become
more aware of this than you can obviously better manage yourself.
And once you are in a position where you are better merging yourself as a life coach then obviously
sets you up to be more effective at influencing other people as well.
So and this is definitely another exercise or a resource you can build into your life coaching repertoire
of tools and resources to share with you kinds at some point in the future.
But make sure that you go there fast because once you've gone there you're gonna be better versed and
you're going to have a greater depth of insight to ask the right questions and reflect back right observations
to your clients are going to help them to better identify where they are in life as well.
So you found this idea interesting and spend 10 minutes working through the worksheet.
Then I'll look forward to seeing you again in the next clip.